what happens when someone recognizes your letter to an advice column?

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes:

I’m a longtime reader and huge fan of Ask a Manager. I wondered if you’ve ever done a column about people who were busted as writing in — people whose coworkers, boss, family, or friends read a post and realized the author was someone they knew.

I have not, although I know of a few times when it’s happened: If you remember the manager whose best employee quit when she wasn’t allowed to go to her college graduation, the employee herself recognized the letter years later and wrote in, one of the other interns fired for writing a petition about the dress code wrote in a year later, and someone who thought they were a coworker of the person angry about cheap ass rolls also wrote in. There was also a letter-writer who was pretty sure that her employee was having an affair with a married coworker, but wasn’t sure if she knew that the guy was married — and the employee in question saw the letter on the manager’s screen. I’ve also occasionally heard privately from someone who says, “I think I’m in the office where this is happening, and here’s the other side of the story.”

I will say that sometimes people think they recognize a situation and they’re wrong (there’s a key detail that’s different) or the situation happens enough that they couldn’t possibly know it’s theirs. And generally I want people to feel comfortable writing in here without having to worry that people will try to guess who they are! But it’s an interesting topic, so let’s open it up for the comment section!

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