my boss isn’t doing her job, employee is freezing us out since they didn’t get promoted, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My boss isn’t doing her job and things are falling apart

I work for an accounting firm where I am the only full-time employee to my boss, Katie. She inherited the business from her father and is within a few years of retiring. I am looking to leave this job this year but until I am able to, I am having trouble dealing with a lot of issues she is having.

We are in the middle of tax season and she is falling so far behind on processing tax returns. Many clients have called to ask the status of their return, and I have had to stretch the truth of their status so they do not get upset at me. I always inform my boss when they call. Sometimes that makes her actually work on a client’s return, but other times she doesn’t care.

She has missed several meetings with clients due to personal matters. So far, all of the clients have been understanding but I am worried that she is going to do this to a client who is not so understanding.

Katie is also dealing with a lot of issues at home, and these issues are bleeding into how much time she dedicates to work. She takes a lot of personal calls from family and that interrupts her work and my ability to get some of my work done. A good chunk of my work has to go through her first, and it feels impossible to complete when she is preoccupied. Until I am able to find a better position, what can I do to manage the lack of commitment and support from her?

You’ve got to get really clear in your own head about what you can and can’t control — and what is and isn’t in your purview.

If clients are upset with Katie, that’s Katie’s responsibility — not yours. If Katie is behind on her work, that’s also her responsibility; it’s not something you’re responsible for fixing, and it’s not something you can fix. You should stop stretching the truth when clients call to check on their returns; that’s putting yourself in the middle of Katie’s mess in a way that you shouldn’t. Instead, tell them you’ll let Katie know they called and she will get back to them. (Or if it’s your job to update to them on the status of their returns, give an honest update; if they’re upset about that, they can speak to Katie.) Don’t lie on Katie’s behalf.

If Katie’s lack of focus means you can’t complete your own work, just keep proactively updating her about what you need — “I can’t move any further on XYZ until we talk about ABC, and we need to do that by tomorrow or we risk needing to file for an extension,” etc. From there, it’s up to her — this is her business, she’s in charge, and you can’t cajole her into doing her job. Your responsibility is just to do yours and to be proactive about making sure she knows where work stands and what deadlines are in danger of being missed. After that, it’s in her court.

2. Employee is freezing us out since we rejected them for a promotion

A committee of a few managers interviewed an internal candidate for a job in another department. We ended up not offering them the job, and they asked for feedback and why they didn’t get it. I was very polite and warm about it and assured them this was nothing personal. I gave examples of questions they could have answered better and some that they did answer very well.

Ever since the interview, this staff member has been cold to each of the committee members. They ignore us when we say hello or have audible grunts like they are annoyed we’re speaking to them. They are speaking to other staff members, and I see them smiling and in a good mood. How should I approach this as it’s becoming increasingly difficult to work with this person?

Their manager needs to talk with them, so you should talk to their manager. Explain that they appear to be freezing out everyone on the hiring committee since the rejection, and be specific about what you’ve been observing. They don’t need to be bubbly and chatty with you, but they do need to remain civil and professional (which includes returning greetings, being appropriately responsive, and not sounding obviously annoyed when you speak to them).

Their manager should make that clear to them, and should also point out that if they want to be considered for a promotion again, this behavior is the exact wrong way to respond to an internal rejection.

3. When should I ask my boss about relocating?

I decided back in December that this summer when my lease is up, I will move to the next state over to be closer to family. It is a state where my company already has employees (though located around a specific city I will not be near and in a completely different department than what I do — think graphic design vs payroll management) and I currently work hybrid (two days per week on-site with clients and three remote).

I am trying to figure out when to approach my manager about staying with the company and working fully remote from the new state (none of the clients our department of the company works with are located in that state). I am 80% sure they will not have a problem with it, but on the off chance they say no, I will have to look for a new job. (I have been looking already, just in case, but not having any luck landing interviews).

How do I time the conversation with my manager? I want to approach them early enough to have time to secure an apartment in the new state (being able to prove to a new landlord my continuing employment/salary), but not so early that if they say no I could end up out of a job too soon (I absolutely believe they would find a reason to let me go if I “was leaving soon anyway”). Ideally, I would have confirmation from my manager that I can keep my job by mid-May so I can plan a weekend trip to the new state to tour and apply for an apartment before I provide the required 60-day notice to my current landlord that I am not renewing my lease. Do I wait until the last minute and then tell them I need an answer right away? Do I give them a bit more time so they can think about it/discuss with the management/HR team? Or do I just ramp up the applications and hope to find a new fully remote role soon?

I don’t think you’re going to be able to time this the way you want. First, while you obviously know the situation better than I do, I’m more skeptical than you are that they’ll agree to this; you’re proposing going from working in-person with clients two days per week down to zero days of in-person client work. For most employers, that would be a significant change. Maybe they value you enough to want to make it work regardless, but just based on that set of facts, I’d assume there’s a pretty good chance they’ll say no.

And since if their answer is no and you think they’ll let you go if they know you’re planning to leave fairly soon, this gets a lot riskier. Your best bet is to raise it as something that’s still just a possibility — not as “I am planning on moving this summer; can I work remotely?” but as “Would it ever be possible for me move to full-time remote work from Colorado? I have family there and would love to join them, but I love my job and would rather not leave it.” But then you also can’t wait until the last minute and say you need an immediate answer.

Plus, if you’re relying on them saying yes in order to be able to rent an apartment in the new state, that’s additionally risky. If they say no, will you be able to rent regardless? If yes, it’s safer to just move forward without their involvement. (And if not, you have a different problem.)

All of which is to say, assume you’ll need a new job in the new state. If your company ends up coming through with a yes, great — but plan for a no so the thing whole doesn’t fall apart if that happens.

Related:
my boss won’t let me move to another state — but I’m remote

4. My male new hire is being paid more than my female hire

I just started a new job at the beginning of the year, and my team’s been great. Great manager, great peers, and my direct reports are on top of things and really good. Yay!

We’re so busy that we’re adding a few new people to my team. Everyone has exactly the same role and title, and so will they. This recruiting was started before I joined, so I’ve been involved but my manager has been the one running it. He made it clear that HR will handle everything regarding salary; we only learn about the new hires’ salaries at the end after they accept their offers.

Two of the new team members have been hired, and I learned today that there’s a 2% discrepancy in their pay. One is a woman who has 15 years’ experience and a graduate degree. The other is a man with just under 10 years’ experience and a bachelors. I probably don’t need to tell you who’s going to make more.

I’m so new myself that I’m afraid of making waves, but this sits horribly wrong with me. What can I do here?

Approach it from the perspective of legal liability for the company, because it is one: “I’m concerned that these different pay rates will run afoul of the Equal Pay Act. We’re required by federal law to pay men and women equally for the same work, unless the difference is due to seniority or a merit system. Jane is coming in with more experience and a higher degree but being paid less than Jonah. Can we talk to HR about raising her pay to match his?”

Related:
what to do if you’re being paid less than a male coworker

5. Meal break waivers

I work for a large technical staffing agency as a non-exempt employee. State law (Minnesota) now requires an employer to allow an employee an unpaid meal break. It does not not require I take one, yet my employer keeps sending me emails prompting me to sign a “meal break waiver” so I can “choose to waive this unpaid meal break and instead work through your break and be paid for that time.” Why?

Because it’s safer for them to document that you chose to waive the break in case it’s later disputed, since the law leaves it up to you (not them) to decide whether or not you want the break. In fact, the Minnesota Department of Labor website specifically says, “If an employee voluntarily waives their breaks, it is a best practice to confirm this in writing with the employee.”

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