boss told me my dresses need to be longer, I wish my job would just fire me already, and more

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go…

1. My boss told me my dresses need to be longer

My line manager told me yesterday that there had been “comments made” about how short / inappropriate my dresses are in the office, as a member of the team who is front-facing for clients. I was asked to not wear these outfits in the office any longer.

These comments have utterly humiliated me, and I spent about an hour crying on my way home. I have always dressed fairly modestly at work and am deeply uncomfortable with my body being perceived as being “on display.” My dresses are long-sleeved, with skirts that stop just above my knee. They are conventional office wear. I prefer dresses and skirts over trousers, as the medications I take have made my stomach quite bloated, and I find tight waistbands uncomfortable. But I was told they need to be longer as I’m greeting clients (as my work wear was just above the knee already, my presumption is that longer means to the knee or below).

It’s a very male heavy office, so what other women wear is split between trousers and skirts that are above the knee or to the knee. My line manager was wearing an above-the-knee dress the day after telling me my outfits were too short.

After looking at my work wardrobe, I estimate I’m going to have to get replace nearly 80% to get to these new standards — of dresses and skirts to the knee or lower — while also managing the other restrictions that are placed on women’s wear at our office. For instance, I’m not allowed to wear a sleeveless blouse because our male directors decided they are not professional for women. This is while the men in our office can meet with clients in hoodies or polo shirts.

I simply don’t understand why my clothing is an issue 16 months into working here.Am I being unreasonable or is this unfair? Is this something I should speak to my union about?

Yes, you should absolutely speak to your union. Something here doesn’t make sense — skirts and dresses to just above the knee aren’t unprofessional or inappropriate work wear, and that goes triple in an office where a bunch of other people are wearing them, including the manager who told you that you couldn’t. “You’re client-facing” doesn’t make sense as an explanation. Is there anything else that could explain why you’re getting this feedback and others aren’t? Sometimes this happens when you’re the only one in your office with a particular body shape (which doesn’t make it okay), and I wonder if that’s in play here.

Ideally you’d go back to your manager and ask for clarification — including explicitly asking if she is telling you that your skirts must be below the knee, and pointing out that all your skirts are currently the same length as the ones you see other women in your office wearing. But since you have a union, pull them in for advice too.

2. CEO sends a delusional AI-generated image of himself with every email

As a mere part-time staffer, I am certain there is nothing I can do about this issue, but perhaps you have some ideas.

The CEO has begun to attach an AI-generated image of himself to every email he sends out. The images are universally more handsome than the real thing. No more receding hairline, or stomach fat. Plenty of bicep muscles. Not a wrinkle in sight.

This is cringe behaviour, and staff mock him for it behind his back. While I am not personally invested in helping him save face, I do want to stop being forced to look at these unprofessional, inaccurate portraits. Especially since the workplace is a public library, where one would hope to avoid misinformation.

No, this is amazing and you must not try to stop it!

And that’s fortunate, because there’s almost certainly nothing you can do about it anyway. If you were, say, a senior communications staffer or his right-hand person or otherwise a trusted confidant, you could attempt to diplomatically address it, but assuming you are none of those things and therefore have no real standing or obligation to take this on, the only correct response is to sit back and bask in the utter absurdity of it.

Is it a problem for his credibility? Yes! Is it your problem? No.

You can just enjoy the spectacle.

3. I wish my board would just fire me already

I am the chief executive of a small nonprofit and I report to a board, and I have been on a performance improvement plan (PIP) for the past four months. The PIP is full of things that are untrue and half true, along with some things that could legitimately be improved. The PIP was my first notice of any of those gripes that the board (or rather, a few members of the executive committee) had about me, my work, and, more pointedly, my personality.

The first PIP was supposed to be 60 days. They had no objective success measure in it and missed over half the weekly check-ins we had scheduled. They are having a lawyer handle everything for them, so I didn’t receive a determination about the PIP until a couple weeks ago when they gave me another PIP with a 60-day extension. This document, even more than the first one, has things in it explaining where I am failing to meet expectations that I was unaware of and were not part of the job previously.

At this point, it is clear that at least two of the board members just don’t like me and want to fire me, which is completely within their power to do. I have sincerely done what I can to meet their expectations, but I can’t and won’t change my personality or pretend to be someone I am not. And this job has turned into something different than what I was hired for.

I have been looking for a new job since the process started, but it is not easy at this level and I can’t afford to be without an income or I would have quit already. How do I have the conversation with them expressing my desire to leave along with my need to be eligible for unemployment benefits?

Frame it this way: “It’s clear to me that you’re unhappy with my work and I want to be realistic about my chances for success here and not drag out the process, so I’d like to propose a managed separation with a transition that will be as smooth as possible for both of us. I’d ask that you not contest my unemployment benefits since it sounds like I was likely to be let go at the end of this process anyway, but beyond that I’m flexible about what this could look like in terms of timing and messaging.” They are likely to hear this with relief.

You might also consider whether you have an argument to request severance, if they’re now defining success in the role differently than what you were brought on to do.

4. Requiring 15+ hours of outside reading per week

I am curious to your take on a job listing I recently came across. There is an indie bookshop in my city that is looking for booksellers — basically part-time retail work, $12/hour starting wage, nothing atypical for the area.

Amongst the qualifications and job duties listed, alongside needing 3+ years experience as a bookseller and “associates or better” degree, I noticed something that seemed super wild. “Booksellers are required to spend an additional 15+ hours a week reading recent releases and bestsellers to stay up to date on merchandise and better assist customers.”

(I am assuming the 15+ hours of reading homework is unpaid, but I could be wrong; this is a very hipster bookshop that I like to visit now and then but would never work at personally, so I haven’t inquired further or anything.)

Is this as bonkers as it sounds to me? Or does this sound more like “continuing education” and is pretty reasonable to expect?

As a general rule, if outside reading is required for non-exempt employees, they need to be paid for that time. There are exceptions for things like continuing education required to maintain a license, but booksellers aren’t licensed.

They’d be better off saying that they’re looking for employees who already maintain a deep knowledge of recent releases and bestsellers and who will maintain that knowledge going forward — and then screening for dedicated readers of recent releases (which is different from just being a voracious reader in general) in their interview process — instead of presenting it like a job duty with a specific number of hours attached.

5. I was fired from my last job, then didn’t work for several years — how do I explain it in interviews?

I was fired from my job several years ago. Due to a combination of burnout and undiagnosed depression, I effectively went AWOL and didn’t do anything about anything until it was too late, and I’m trying to re-enter the job market now. I have a resume gap of several years, my previous job loss was entirely my fault, and it’s been a very long time since I had to do any kind of job searching.

How do I write a resume to cover this particular ground? And, in the event of an interview, any advice on how to answer the inevitable question of what I was doing while unemployed? (The honest answer is nothing, while trying to claw my way out of a mental health hole.”)

You don’t address it on a resume at all; that’s the place to highlight your work history and accomplishments. In an interview, the language you want is: “I’ve been dealing with a health issue that is now resolved and I’m excited to return to work.” You don’t need to say more than that; they’re not supposed to ask for details, and it explains why you left the last job as well as what you’ve been doing since then.

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