how can I get to know coworkers betters when we’re remote?

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes:

I have been with my current employer for 20 years. We have been fully remote since 2020, though we do have in person meetings roughly once a quarter. And I travel for business frequently so also often spend times with colleagues this way. I have very close friends at my current role, but that is a reflection of my long-term tenure and the old days of lunch in the cafeteria and chats by the photocopier.

I’m starting a senior manager level position next month at a new company and I’m looking for advice on how to develop relationships with coworkers. I will lead high profile cross-functional projects and will need to have strong relationships with various teams (marketing, sales, product, etc.). And on top of that, I know I will be more successful if I have coworkers who I can call work friends, and I know I will enjoy my work environment if I have friendly relationships with coworkers. I’m not looking for friends to hang out with outside of work or looking for a new bestie, just colleagues I can chat with socially sometimes during the work week here and there.

I don’t know if that is a realistic expectation in this WFH world. I know there are many who prefer not to be social at work and that’s totally fine — I wouldn’t want to intrude. I just want to be able to say, “Hey Susie, how are the kids?” or “Hey Susie, how did your last marathon go?” The idea of not having a friendly chat once in a while seems so isolating.

In my current role, I have found that new joiners struggle because they feel very isolated not knowing anyone very well and feel like they are an outsider because there are others at our work that know each other very well. I worry this will be the case me.

Any advice on how to fit in (or reality check that I’m expecting too much)?

You aren’t expecting too much. Lots of us want to have warm, friendly relationships with colleagues and be able to talk about things besides work. Readers, what’s your advice?

The post how can I get to know coworkers betters when we’re remote? appeared first on Ask a Manager.

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