update: at what point can I report my inappropriate and inflammatory coworker?

[ResidentialBusiness]

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

Remember the letter-writer wondering at what point they could report their inappropriate and inflammatory coworker? Here’s the update.

I finally quit so now I can update. One of the details I was obfuscating before was that we’re both student workers in our 20s at a post-secondary institution. Unfortunately, I couldn’t apply too much of your advice because things got CRAZY basically immediately after, but I still greatly appreciated the advice and the sanity check from you and everyone who commented.

My question got posted the week before U.S. election day. The first words Kevina said when she walked in the office that Monday were, “I’m preparing for election day by stocking up on ammo!” She then spent the rest of that day and the next giving the impression that she was looking forward to someone “trying something” so she would have the opportunity to use said ammunition. She also said something along the lines of “buying the good kind that destroys flesh” with a weird smile. And said the quickest way to clean up our office decorations would be to “set them on fire and let it spread,” also with a weird smile.

So I pulled my boss aside on Wednesday and basically said what I said above, that I’ve taken school shooting and workplace violence prevention training and I’m feeling very uncomfortable and like if I didn’t say anything I’d be potentially culpable. My boss seems appalled and concerned and agrees Kevina isn’t the most stable person so the workplace violence concern isn’t unreasonable. Off we go to HR where she handles the talking but is vague and HR says that they’re a satellite location and just do paperwork but since she’s a student we should go talk to the dean of students. We go to the dean of students’ office and are told that she’s not there today and my boss says she’ll just text her. We go back to the office and get back to work.

End of the day, my boss sends me a message basically saying that I (me, the part-time student worker, of course) have three avenues of reporting this and says she can help me with one of them the next day if I really want her to. I say, “Please help me with this tomorrow morning,” and she says, “Of course.” GUESS WHO ISN’T ON CAMPUS THE NEXT DAY! My boss had a meeting on a different campus and then didn’t respond to me asking what was happening until the office was closed that day. Turns out she didn’t text anyone even though she said she would AND she was going on vacation the next day and wouldn’t be back until the Monday after next. So the next day, I call the campus police and they don’t care because it wasn’t specific intent to do harm and I guess repeatedly stating she wants to bring a gun on campus doesn’t mean anything. They didn’t even want her name. but I can call them back if she actually brings a gun. So then I go back to the dean of students’ office and tell all this to someone there and they say they will report it but investigations take months and blah blah blah.

So I keep working, ignoring this coworker who is much quieter than normal, probably because my boss said something to her again. And then she starts complaining that a student in one of her classes made a complaint against her to the dean of students’ office because, for a class presentation, she acted out killing herself with a butter knife to stand in for a real one and that made them uncomfortable. According to Kevina, the professor had okayed this demonstration so I kinda get the upset at the complaint, but then Kevina starts talking about how she’s worried the person who made the complaint will attack her and how she and her mom want to get a lawyer so they can find the identity of the person who complained. Because people are so sensitive these days and you never know what they’ll do. So I went back to the dean of students’ office and said that this is concerning to me as someone who has made a complaint since all of Kevina’s gun fantasies she talks about are her “defending herself” and she’s making herself out to be a victim here. Nothing comes from that complaint either that I can see, but I was able to change my schedule so my shifts never overlapped with hers again.

After that, she made a huge scene at an all-staff event specifically to embarrass one (full-time, non-student) coworker. That coworker then ALSO made a complaint against her with a different dean. Other coworker says that, as a result, Kevina will have to do some sensitivity training and might have this noted in her file. So Kevina still has her job. The other coworker finally was able to transfer to another department, so I probably won’t be able to get any updates on this situation unless Kevina ends up on the news. Thinking about writing this update kept me sane while continuing to work there and got me to today, moving onto my next opportunity which will hopefully transition into a full-time job after I get my degree.

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