my employee is needy and gossipy

[ResidentialBusiness]

This post was written by Alison Green and published on Ask a Manager.

A reader writes:

In my small, fast-paced company, I have two employees in admin roles, Amelia and Molly. They were hired at the same time about five months ago and work in the same office (literally one room — we’re looking for a bigger space) in a different state from me and our main office.

They’ve hated each other from week one. Amelia is standoffish and quiet. Molly is loud and overbearing. Despite their personality clash, both do great work! They learn fast and don’t make many mistakes.

My issue is Molly. She’s very needy and gossipy. I have constant demands on my schedule and don’t have a lot of time to spend just chatting or going over things that are under control. I’ve tried to be up-front from day one that I’m happy to answer questions, explain processes, etc., but that my schedule is unpredictable and I can’t always respond immediately.

I got an email from Molly the other day asking if I was okay because she hadn’t heard from me in awhile. We’d emailed the day before and spoken on the phone a couple days before that! I’ve gotten the sense that Molly wants to spend a lot of time on the phone with me and wants praise on every small task she completes. Every time we talk on the phone, she rambles and it ends up being literally an hour-long conversation. I know making small talk is part of work relationships, but five minutes of that seems more appropriate to me. I’ve also told her she’s doing great several times. I can’t and won’t talk to her on the phone daily (it’s unnecessary — weekly phone check-ins seem fine to me) and also don’t feel like every email I’m cc’d on needs a response from me.

Molly also seems to be jealous of Amelia. She “reports” on her to me (“did you know she left early today?!”). She asks repeatedly if Amelia is doing a good job and seems skeptical when I say yes. She seems offended if I spend more time on the phone with Amelia than her (our projects overlap more). I’ve told her several times I’m happy with Amelia’s work and want them both to be here. I’ve acknowledged Amelia can be standoffish and asked if this impacts Molly’s ability to do her job but she says no.

How do I set expectations with Molly about (a) what I can give in terms of my time and attention and (b) that I do not want to gossip, especially about another employee? Molly’s capable of doing good work with minimal oversight and I need her to be okay with that and not ask for hand-holding she doesn’t need. I’m scared of alienating her and potentially causing her to leave, which I definitely do not want since she’s so strong at the actual work part of her job.

I answer this question over at Inc. today, where I’m revisiting letters that have been buried in the archives here from years ago (and sometimes updating/expanding my answers to them). You can read it here.

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