Performance Tracking and Feedback

A reader writes: Recently my manager asked me to help revise a job posting and the hiring process because the last two people we hired left only a few weeks after starting. One said she didn’t think our workplace had a professional environment, and the other said she realized her values didn’t align with the company. Since I’m the most recent successful hire, my manager wants me to help her understand what was different about how I was selected. You’re probably assuming my workplace must be toxic or terrible, but honestly it’s the most fun place I’ve ever worked, and that might actually be the problem. Nothing about it fits the usual idea of a bad workplace, but it is d…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My male coworker takes his family everywhere, and it makes him late for work events I am a woman in STEM and have a coworker, Fergus, who has a stay-at-home-wife and a toddler. They currently live out-of-state with his in-laws, and when he travels — whether it’s to a conference, work event, or just an in-office event — he always brings his wife and kid. This leads him to often not arriving to these events that start at 8 or 9 am until 11 or 12 because he went to brunch with the fam. My (male) boss finds it endearing, despite it often leaving the rest of us idle for hours waiting on him and often seems to overlook wome…

I was told to stay off screens for a few days last week due to a possible concussion (I’m fine), so this was originally published in 2020. A reader writes: Recently, a coworker and I were assigned to go on a business trip for a work conference. It was held at a convention center in a different part of the state about two and a half hours away. We’d be taking a company car, and the drive there during rush hour can be horrendous. My manager and I agreed it would be best to leave early in the morning to beat most of the traffic. My coworker and I were supposed to meet at our office and leave at 5:30 am. 5:45 rolled around and my coworker still wasn’t at the office. I trie…

Years ago I used to do lots of list-type posts (10 things you should know about work by the time you’re 30, 8 signs you’re a bad boss, etc). I came across this one from 2017 and thought it was worth resurrecting. If you’re like a lot of people, you might get anxious when you have to talk to your boss – or you might leave the conversation feeling unsure of what kind of impression you made. Or maybe you’ve just noticed that your relationship with your manager could be smoother. Whatever the case, the following seven phrases will help you get what you need from your boss, communicate better, and keep yourself in good standing. 1. “We can do X or Y. I propose Y because…” T…

I was told to stay off screens for a few days last week due to a possible concussion (I’m fine), so this was originally published in 2012. A reader writes: What is considered excessive when it comes to friendly displays of affection in the workplace? We have a gregarious female employee who regularly solicits hugs from people — not from other employees but from outside frequent visitors and volunteers who come into the office. One part of this employee’s job is to greet people when they come in through our front entrance to the building. We’re a small nonprofit organization, open to the public. She’s not exactly a receptionist, but she is usually the closest to the fr…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I’m worried a former coworker is an alcoholic I used to work as a heavy-duty mechanic before going back to school. I met my partner at this job and I stayed in contact with a colleague (Carl) who recently turned 40. Because Carl’s original plans for his birthday fell through, some colleagues organized a get-together instead (we ended up being eight people total). One of the organizers, Parker, is a satellite worker (90 minutes away), but he’s friends with Carl and they see each other outside of work, have shared friends, etc. I didn’t have much contact with Parker while I was still working there and none since I left, …

I was told to stay off screens for a few days last week due to a possible concussion (I’m fine), so today and tomorrow will include some posts from the archives. This was originally published in 2015. A reader writes: I have been at my job about six months and am by far the youngest person in my office of 10-15 people. I am in my mid-20s (second job out of college) in an office where everyone else is 40+. For the most part, everyone works together well and the age difference doesn’t matter. But I have one coworker, an older woman we will call Sue, who insists on “parenting” me and getting involved in my personal life. She often brings in “treats” to the office and will …

A reader writes: I have a newish direct report. He’s generally pretty good and is always supportive and encouraging towards his team, which is great. He’s also always encouraging and supportive towards people more senior to him, including me, which is getting less great. I hear a lot of, “Excellent spot!” when I point out a mistake. Or, “That’s a really good idea, [MyName]” or “‘that’s a great suggestion, thank you,” in an encouraging tone of voice, or “that’s a really good point” when actually it is not a particularly good point and all I said was X is unclear and he needs to rewrite it. Yes, I did make a good suggestion! It is my job as manager to make good suggestio…

I was told to stay off screens for a few days last week due to a possible concussion (I’m fine), so today and tomorrow will include some posts from the archives. This was originally published in 2015. A reader writes: I took employment at a nonprofit as an economic researcher about seven months ago. Overall, I love my job and what I get to do and helping people, but there is one major issue: My boss, who is the founder and head of the organization, thinks he is a mayan shaman. I am not joking. He spends crazy amounts of money (sometimes company money) to fund his “spiritual projects” and recently has been telling me to do ludicrous projects like comparing chakra colors…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Coworker sends emails with deadlines, then asks everyone to answer immediately I work in an office and I have a coworker who is one of the few on the admin team with me. We’re peers; neither of us manages the other. She has a habit that I find frustrating: she will send out an email giving instructions and a deadline, then start following up immediately. As just the latest example, today, it was wanting to know shirt sizes so she can buy company merch for employees and attendees of an event we’re having if they’re bringing family members or significant others. She put in the email that that we should send an answer by…

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The End of Romance, by Lily Meyer. After an abusive marriage, a grad student vows to avoid romance, then promptly meets two men who challenge that resolve. I struggled with whether to recommend this because by the last 20% of the book, I was supremely frustrated by the protagonist’s choices, but I really liked the first 80%. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – March 14-15, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. Vie…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – March 13, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. I think my remote employee is doing child care when she should be working I have an employee (we are all remote) who just returned to work from maternity leave. It’s been almost two months and I have noticed a couple of troubling patterns. I was trying to give her the benefit of the doubt, but two other team members mentioned these same concerns to me. 1. She always has her camera turned off. This is not an issue for most meetings but, during our monthly all-team meetings, I have asked everyone to turn their cameras on. She has not turned hers on for either meeting since her return. 2. She is always on mute and, when…

A reader writes: About two years ago, I had just started working at a major media company on the east coast, making good money. I was able to be the sole breadwinner for my family of four. Due to a complicated family situation, we were forced to move to the middle of the country to be near my in-laws. My job could not transfer, so I got a favor from my dad to get a remote job at his company, taking a major pay cut in the process. It was still enough to take care of everyone with the lower cost of living, and it was well above the average of the area. About nine months later, that company had a major restructuring and I was laid off. I had to scramble to find any work t…

A reader writes: I have a situation at work where my favorite work friend is now not speaking to me because of politics. We have political differences, but we have always been respectful and it’s never caused an issue before. Now I’m getting shut out because I’m, quote a part of the left. Wondering if you could do one of your round-ups of past posts about friendships going sour, or awkwardness at work. I know to be kind and professional, and I’m giving her space. But would be nice to have a re-read of some of the older posts. I suspect maybe I’m not alone in this. Yes! Here you go: friends at work friend drama may collide with job hunt I referred my friend to my com…

We often hear about work events that didn’t go quite as hoped: the conference that served vegetarians a single leaf of lettuce for lunch, the event where a speaker who went way over time caused half the attendees to get food poisoning, the conference that didn’t think through the problems with giving every attendee an identical laptop bag, the escape room where none of the managers could find their way out (maybe that one’s not so bad), and on and on. Let’s turn the tables and hear from people who plan events or work at them. Tell us what’s gone wrong you’ve been the one behind the scenes at events — or how you saw someone save the day and prevent disaster. The post wor…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Manager uses employees’ photos for AI-generated images Recently, my partner’s boss fed employees’ headshots (from LinkedIn) into an AI model to generate “personas” of them (for example, an IT specialist might be the “Tech Wizard” and the AI image would be their face on a character dressed in wizard robes) and then hung them on their desks. She did this without their knowledge, much less their consent. My partner felt their privacy was violated and is unhappy about it. However, they didn’t approach their boss because they thought she would get upset, and they didn’t want to manage her emotions or be accused of not bein…

Last month we talked about bosses and offices with weirdly outdated expectations from a far-off era. Here are 12 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The host A former boss had very strong ideas about technology. Pre-pandemic, some employees had access to Zoom and used it occasionally for in-house meetings. Obviously, in 2020 we had to pivot to using Zoom for every meeting. My boss insisted that he be the “host” and the only “host” of Zoom meetings. He said it was important for people to know that he was host, in the sense that he was convening the meeting and responsible for the meeting outcomes. He could not be convinced that in a Zoom context, most of the hosting …

Remember the letter from the person whose soda consumption was being monitored and judged by the office admin? Here’s the update. I had many months of peace, in part due to my boss telling the admin to lay off and in part because I was fully remote for a couple of months due to some family stuff. The dirty looks when I went to the kitchen continued when I got back but whatever, I can deal. And then yesterday happened. I go to the office, get three cans of soda to bring back to my desk (to avoid the scrutiny of three separate kitchen visits). I drink one, then place two in my desk drawer. I go to an in-person meeting, during which I see the admin scan the room to see wh…

A reader writes: A few months ago, we had to do an “about me” presentation during a department meeting— we had to post pictures of our families and give a brief description of our interests/who we are. I’m not a big fan of these things for several reasons. One is that I would prefer to keep my family life out of work, and one is that it can cause discrimination, which is the reason I’m writing. I’m white, my husband is black, and my kids are obviously mixed. Literally the day after my presentation where I posted my family picture, my manager, supervisor, and some coworkers have changed how they treat me. I don’t jump to discrimination right away, but I don’t know what e…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Why do people feel so passionate about physically handing out their resume? Why do people get so defensive over the concept of physically handing out resumes? I was at my off-season part-time retail job, and a young man came in with a stack of resumes; it was obvious that his mom was sitting out front in the truck, driving him around to all of the businesses in the plaza. After I had directed him to apply online, where, like any other company in 2026, we do all of our hiring, I said to my coworker, “I really wish people wouldn’t do that. Like, just tell me you’re out of touch.” She said, “Do what?” I replied, “Driv…

A reader writes: My workload is mostly comprised of overflow tasks from other departments. I generally like this because it gives me a variety of things to do. I regularly deal with four managers. Three of them are good to work with. One, Alex, is … not. While the others always do a capacity check-in with me (asking if I have the bandwidth to take new work on), Alex regularly assigns me things without asking at all. It is not unusual that I will go on lunch and come back to a bunch of new tasks waiting for me with no discussion prior to assignment. The things Alex assigns me have exceptionally short deadlines, are often missing key pieces of information, and are often …

A reader writes: My workplace occasionally recognizes staff birthdays, but isn’t consistent. Sometimes there’s cake, sometimes bagels, sometimes nothing, and it’s often a last-minute announcement which can be frustrating to people who already have food planned out for the day. Someone brought up the idea of bringing back a past practice: the monthly celebration of all January (for example) birthdays in one go. This could allow for consistent “observance” of birthdays, planning ahead on whether you bring a lunch, and less worrying about the impact on the budget. I know not everyone feels the same way about their birthday so I turned to AAM for insights on how to start s…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Can we refuse a massage appointment for a sex offender? I am a front desk coordinator in a clinic that is part of a large healthcare system. I schedule appointments and assist patients who come in to see providers of various departments, including massage therapy. Recently, I saw an alert about a patient who was scheduled to see a particular massage therapist that indicated he had been discharged from another clinic in the same healthcare system for sexual harassment. Part of my job is to review past appointments for patients, and I saw that in his written scheduling request, he self-identified as a convicted sex offen…

A reader writes: I work in a cubicle office and bring a trained, medically necessary service dog named “Betty” to the office with me. I allow her to socialize with coworkers on breaks, and she is very loved in the office for how friendly and adorable she is. She also adores her coworkers and thinks everyone is her best friend. Unfortunately, a new coworker, “Sarah,” has been repeatedly ignoring service dog boundaries with Betty over the last six months. These boundary violations include taking Betty out of my cube while I’m on work calls or distracted, removing her leash in public work areas without asking, entering my cube without permission to interact with her, and …