Performance Tracking and Feedback

A reader writes: I work for a medium-sized, family-owned business. We all work from home. Some of us live in the same metro area but we’re not friends. We have an office culture of sensitivity and compassion when someone is going through a difficult time. For the last few months, every staff meeting somehow functions as an open mike for stories about horrific things that have befallen us, going back to the 1970s. I can’t give examples without needing a wall of trigger warnings. All are totally unrelated to the work we are there to discuss. We often end up with two or three people needing breaks to gather themselves, or being unable to pay attention when we do get to wor…

A reader writes: I’m hoping for some guidance on dealing with an employee who is convinced she isn’t advancing because she’s a woman, but it’s truly due to her putting in barely adequate effort and believing that advancement comes from checking off boxes and “time served.” We’re in a creative niche industry that’s fairly evenly split between men and women, although the larger industry that we’re a part of is still very male-dominated. Our company is a small privately owned company (under 50 people), roughly evenly split, with women at all levels, including in leadership. I’m a woman in the top level of our company and am involved in deciding who is ready to be promoted…

A reader writes: I have a tendency to have frequent UTI’s. They’re easily treated and not dangerous, but they make my life annoying for 1-2 days before the meds kick in. I am not in pain but I might really, really need to visit the bathroom on a very short notice and very often, at worst every 15 minutes or so. At best, I’m fine an hour after I take the first pill. There’s no way to know beforehand which way it’ll go. I’m looking for advice on dealing with the problems this causes in my work; healthwise, I am fine and am working with my doctor to prevent the UTI’s as much as possible. But it’s a feature my body has had for ~25 years, so “not having them” isn’t a super r…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I’m allergic to my coworker’s perfume, and HR says I have to manage it on my own I work hybrid and am required to be in office a couple days a week. I’m also allergic to certain scents and perfumes. Things like vanilla and citrus don’t bother me, but strong floral scents cause my sinuses to swell up, culminating in a migraine. It’s not pleasant, so I try my best to avoid anything that triggers it. Unfortunately, nobody seems to take scent allergies seriously or know they exist at all. My colleague, Linda, wears a perfume so strong that I can smell where she’s been 10 minutes after she’s been there. There’s an entire q…

Next Wednesday is Administrative Professionals Day, so let’s talk about the weirdest or most ridiculous requests you’ve ever seen made of assistants. To start us off, here are a few that have been shared here in the past: • “In my first job out of college, my boss asked me to dry his shoes, which got wet in the rain. He plunked them down on my desk and said he needed them dry for a meeting in 15 minutes. I’m still not sure what he expected me to do because at a certain point, only time can dry things. The hard -unabsorbent paper towels from the bathroom weren’t going to cut it. I was a receptionist but in no way a personal assistant.” • “I once had an office-assistant…

A reader writes: One of my employees has asked for a massive raise. He has good reasons for wanting a raise: his responsibilities have ended up being very different than what he was originally hired for, he’s been doing very well with them, and he’s definitely paid below market for what he’s ended up doing. We hired him at $15/hour for an entry-level position with no hard requirements, and based on some quick market research, I’d say the work he’s doing now is closer to a $20-$25 range, so I’m actually in favor of giving him a pretty substantial increase. The trouble is that he’s asked for an increase to $40/hour, and he’s only been here for four months. That’s more tha…

A reader writes: About a year ago, I got prescribed a CPAP machine. Very important for, you know, supplying oxygen to my brain while I sleep, but one doozy of an adjustment period. It took me about a month to adjust to wearing it at night, and during that month I lowkey felt like I was dying. I was getting very little sleep, and that in small bursts. I was exhausted all the time, and exhaustion made me stupid and slow. I work in a compliance-related role. My job involves assessing regulatory liability for my employer and potential misconduct by licensed employees. If I find against an employee, it’s the kind of thing that could follow them for the rest of their career, …

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. My senior employee is a terrible communicator My employee, “Jordan,” has been in a senior role for 15 years. Their job involves communication and coordination across many different teams and with customers; understanding and being understood is one of the most important competencies. Jordan’s communication skills are lacking. I have highlighted this as an area for improvement every year I have been their manager (nearly five years) and in annual goals and performance reviews, as did their previous manager. Jordan has attended trainings and I have provided job aids and feedback, but there has been little improvement. I…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – April 17, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The Fox Wife, by Yangsze Choo. A Chinese detective story in which the grieving mother hunting her daughter’s killer happens to be a fox who can turn into a woman. Slow-paced, beautifully written, and a bit heart-breaking. (Amazon, Bookshop) I earn a commission if you use those links.  The post weekend open thread – April 18-19, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. How can we convince employees to care about showing up to work? Part of my job involves working with seasonal employees who are hired in the summer to work as 1-1 aides to kids with disabilities. We have a persistent problem of staff suddenly calling out or announcing late arrivals/early departures. In some ways I’m sympathetic — this is just their summer gig, we aren’t able to pay the rate I wish we could, and life can be complicated. In other ways, I’m not. The impact of suddenly disappearing on these kids seems so self-evident I feel ridiculous explaining it. The shifts are 9-3, so there is time at the end of the d…

A reader writes: I’m a former attorney from a government office, and I’ve been curious how you’d view something that was framed as positive but felt … off. Each spring, our office held a “Wellness Week” intended to promote work/life balance. We were divided into teams, and each day included a different “wellness challenge” to be completed during the workday. These ranged from things like a scavenger hunt outside, guided meditation sessions, or reading an article about wellness, to more involved activities like donating to charity. During this week, I often had to forgo my actual wellness activities to participate in the one-size-fits-all “wellness” challenges so as not …

A reader writes: My manager let me know today that my work group is getting interns this summer, and the plan that makes the most sense is for me to be a peer mentor. I’m fine with this, and I’m kind of excited about it, but I have never supervised or officially mentored or been nominally in charge of helping interns work! Do you have any advice or suggestions on how to approach this role and do it well? Here’s a round-up of a bunch of past advice about working with interns. general advice how to survive your summer interns how to get the most out of your summer interns how much guidance should interns need? how to be an awesome mentor reader advice on managing in…

A reader writes: Something happened to me 15 years ago that I continue to wonder about. When I was a senior in college, I was applying to internships in my field (comms/PR if it matters) in Washington, D.C., with the help of my academic advisor. One in-person interview at one of the big legacy PR firms went really well. When my academic advisor followed up about it, they said the company thought I was a fantastic candidate and they’d absolutely love to hire me, except for one thing: they thought the shirt I was wearing was inappropriate for an interview setting and, particularly, that it had sequins on it. Ultimately, I did not get the fellowship because of it. I found…

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. I’m drowning at work because of a family situation — how do I talk about it? My father passed away this past summer from pancreatic cancer. The complications of his illness had slowly escalated throughout the year prior, and I needed to take increasing amounts of time off work to fly to my parents’ home across the country. I work for an extremely small nonprofit and am in a director role. My work is project-based and I report to the board. No one keeps track of how much I’m working and when; they only care if the projects are done on time and well. The summer is our “off” season, and it’s when I usually get the bulk …

A reader writes: After being laid off, I was aggressively applying to everything even remotely in my industry. I landed an interview with a company I recognized and a role I was fully qualified for. In order to move forward in the process, however, they said I needed to “complete an AI screening.” What? I was expecting a phone call with the hiring manager as a first step, but this is the future I guess. So I went with it. Well, it was — perhaps predictably — absolutely awful. Not only did the AI ask me confusing, irrelevant questions about hyper specific bullet points on my resume, but it frequently interrupted my responses and even lost connection three times, forcing …

A reader writes: Last month I had a video interview with a candidate that caught me off guard. It was a second round interview, and I was tasked with asking some deeper questions and providing some more technical context to the role. It became clear quite quickly, since we were on video, that the candidate was reading from prepared notes on his screen. And not just quick references to projects or previous work, but actually reading it like a script. Even when I tried to ask some follow-up questions that he could not have prepared for, he gave a brief answer before reverting back to the script. I’ve experienced this with candidates before but never to this extent; it fe…

A reader writes: Years ago, I got to know Fergus, the head of a local organization I worked with through my previous job. Fergus eventually left the organization to pursue other opportunities, and shortly afterward, I had a meeting with other members of the team, including the person who had succeeded him. At one point in the conversation, I asked if they knew how Fergus was doing and received a fairly non-committal answer. A couple days later, I received an email from the new manager that had very clearly been written by lawyers, informing me that after Fergus’ departure they had discovered financial improprieties during his time running the organization and had severe…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Endless interviews with no hiring decision Twice now, at different companies, for different roles, I have gone through five rounds of interviews. This includes panels, work assessments, presentations, in-office visits, the whole works. Then, after hours of work and weeks of process, the company calls back and says, “We’re still very interested in your candidacy, but we’re not ready to make a decision yet. We’ll get back to you in a few months.” I understand that companies advertise for jobs and circumstances change. I have been a hiring manager before — I know how much nonsense goes on behind the scenes! But is this a…

A reader writes: I work in a museum for … let’s say antique Scandinavian teapots (made up to keep me anonymous). The museum was founded about 20 years ago by a married couple who are major collectors. In the past few years, the couple has decided to make our museum their lasting legacy. They have set up a generous endowment and stepped aside so a fiduciary board can take the reins. Our staff has doubled and now includes seasoned professionals with nonprofit and museum experience. Amazing, right? Less amazing is Fergus, the founders’ right-hand man of 30 years. Fergus is a world-class expert on Scandinavian teapots. The founders trust him implicitly with their prized (an…

A reader writes: Some colleagues and I have a question on interview etiquette from the interviewer side that we can’t agree on. If you give someone a job interview, should you give them a way to contact you? My thinking is, yes, if you interview a job candidate, you should give them either your work phone or work email so they can follow up if they need to. For example, what if they need to withdraw their application? Or if they have a change of phone number or email address they need to inform you about? Or if they would just like to send a thank-you/follow-up email after the interview? The other two managers on our team don’t like providing this information. They hav…

It’s Administrative Professionals Day! Last week we talked about the most ridiculous requests you’ve seen made of assistants, and here are 17 of my favorite stories you shared. 1. The flusher This was when I worked at a toxic doctor’s office. I was admin assistant to his wife, the practice manager, and my desk was closest to the bathroom. She always wore a headset and once took a call while in the bathroom. When she was done with the bathroom part, she came out and motioned for me to flush the toilet for her so her caller didn’t hear it. 2. The astrologist When I was an assistant, my boss made me input every day when Mercury would be in retrograde into her calendar. …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Coworker threatened me and HR isn’t doing anything Last fall, a coworker made an inappropriate comment toward me (called me a “ho” out of nowhere) and also made a statement about using a gun on me. She made these comments in front of several coworkers, who reported the incident. Around that same time, it had been announced that she was receiving a promotion, which added to the confusion. The following week, we were told this employee was no longer with the team. About a month ago, we learned she had actually been on leave and has now been reassigned to a different team within the organization. While I have not had di…

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I have a question that might be suitable for “ask the readers.” When has someone reached out to you with a request to network that was compelling and made you actually want to respond? I’ve seen a lot of stories of bad networking on here — people asking vague questions, not seeming to know what they want, or reaching out with a request to “network” that’s obviously a veiled inquiry about a job. What does genuinely good networking look like? I’d love to hear from readers about requests they were happy to respond to or people who actually impressed them in a networking conversation. It’s especially helpful to…

Here’s some coverage of Ask a Manager in the media recently: I talked to Time about communication habits that are annoying your coworkers. I talked to Bloomberg about how managers should discuss pay with employees. I helped MarketWatch advise a letter-writer whose employee told her boss the writer was judgmental and belittling for giving feedback. Huffington Post quoted me about what to say if a coworker is staring at your chest. Also… How to report problem ads We’ve had a rash of ads auto-playing sound recently and are trying to get them all blocked, but if you encounter one (or any kind of problematic ad), the best way to report it is: look for the PubNation logo …