Performance Tracking and Feedback

A reader writes: At my company, we have an instant messaging system. A lot of people will send an initial message that says nothing but “you free?” or “hi.” In addition to making me irrationally annoyed (just tell me what you want already!), I have no idea what the appropriate response is. Is it “yes,” “hello Bob,” “what’s up”? All of these seem terrible. What is appropriate IM protocol? I like to start with, “Do you have time for a question about X?” Or just the question if it’s short because that’s what I’d prefer to receive, but maybe people find this rude? I am aware that I am overthinking this but I also can’t stop overthinking it. I answer this question over at …

A reader writes: As part of a leadership development opportunity offered by my organization, I’ve been given the chance to participate in a 360 review process. For context, I report to a member of the C-suite and have been angling for a promotion (which would entail a new role basically being created for me), and the 360 was brought up by my supervisor and our CEO as a growth investment. I consider myself to be very self aware, so most of the things that came up in the process are not surprising to me, but I’m also very sensitive to criticism, especially from higher-ups. I am very professional and am able to calmly hear the feedback when it’s given, but with this 360, I…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. Leadership discussing weight loss during an accommodations meeting I’m writing about a conversation that happened a few months ago in my workplace that is still bothering me, and I’m not sure if there’s anywhere to escalate it or if I need to keep working on letting it go. I work in public service for a small city and am part of a union. I was in a meeting with the head of HR (who reports to the mayor), my boss (the director of our organization), and the union rep. The meeting was set up to discuss a medical accommodation I was asking for. I self-identify as a fat woman, but the accommodation in question had nothing t…

A reader writes: I work at a creative company with 50+ people on staff, about 30 of whom come into the office regularly. It’s a great place to work overall, but I’ll be honest, I’m in a bit of a humbling professional moment. After being laid off from my more senior role earlier this year, I took on a junior position here because, well, times are hard and you do what you have to do. Part of my current role involves managing the studio space, which includes keeping our small kitchenette tidy and running the dishwasher. I actually don’t mind this, I run the washer every night before I leave and empty it in the morning so there’s always space for dishes. What I do mind is t…

Remember the letter-writer wondering if she could take care of her baby during the workday since her job was undemanding? Here’s the update. Your response gave me a lot to think about, and ultimately I realized that I was completely bored by my job and needed something with more challenge and growth potential. I decided to take a transfer to a more high powered team. It was a lateral move with no pay increase and more work, but a ton of skill building and potential for growth into other higher paying cross-disciplinary teams. I took the transfer about halfway through my pregnancy so I was able to onboard and finish my training before maternity leave. Infant care spots ar…

A reader writes: I saw an ad for a job at a company that says they ask candidates to spend 3-5 paid days working with them before they’ll make an offer. Their ads reads, “Spending 3-5 days in person working together on a real problem is so much higher signal than interviews could ever produce.” They also say that almost every candidate they hire says they love the experience and wouldn’t want to take a job without a work trial in the future because they learned so much about how the organization operates. Curious for your thoughts on this. It seems like a great way to screen for desperate folks without current jobs? Or is it just obvious rage-bait? Well, on one hand, o…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. My boss punished me for an HR investigation on her way out the door A little over a year ago, I started in a new workplace. Things seemed great at first — much less stress and a more regular schedule than my previous job, great coworkers, and when I had a significant health scare requiring multiple surgeries (I’m fine now) shortly after starting, my manager was really supportive. As the honeymoon period waned, however, it became clear that there were a lot of serious boundary issues with our manager — lots of “we’re a family” style issues. Inappropriate, boundary-crossing things were being said, things that made a lot …

A reader writes: I teach in a business school and previously worked in my industry. I’ve been an AAM reader for a long time. I have seen you write about how group work in school projects is nothing like group work in the real world, and I’m not sure I totally agree. I have definitely worked with coworkers who slacked off or didn’t have the right skills, but there was no accountability, etc. I think getting some output from folks like this is actually a common challenge, which mirrors student work. Anyway, regardless of my personal opinion, every single industry speaker we have says they want students who work well as part of a team. Hiring managers who come here tell u…

A reader writes: I know you say that it’s not a big deal for candidates to leave short jobs off their resumes. But I have an applicant who left a short job off their employment application and changed the dates on their prior position to hide that time gap. (For example, on the application, their resume lists their present job as starting in April while their past job ended in April. But the past job actually ended in January, and there was a different job they omitted that was from January through April.) I’m asking the applicant for an explanation, but I’m very uneasy about the judgment that the applicant showed in misrepresenting their employment dates regardless. Sh…

In the recent post on people applying for jobs that were clearly at odds with what they wanted to do, one theme that came up over and over was candidates who were way too honest in interviews. Here are 11 of my favorite stories you shared that fit that category. 1. The competition A candidate once wrote in their cover letter that their dream was to one day work for [our competitor] and they saw us a an important stepping stone to getting there. 2. The mole I was working for a very progressive Democratic candidate’s campaign, hiring a finance director. Someone with two decades of experience working in Republican offices applied. I decided to phone screen him just out o…

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I don’t want employees to give me gifts I’ve just switched employers and am now heading up a company’s legal division. I value your advice to gift down, not up, but do you have any scripts on how and when to communicate this expectation to subordinates? I don’t want to sound like, “Listen up, peons! Spare me your humble offerings.” Nor do I want to say it so early that it feels like I was expecting them to shower gifts at my feet if I didn’t say something. And if someone ignores me and gives me a gift anyway, how should I handle that? I’m working remotely for a region of the country that’s very different culturally fro…

It’s the Thursday “ask the readers” question. A reader writes: I have been with my current employer for 20 years. We have been fully remote since 2020, though we do have in person meetings roughly once a quarter. And I travel for business frequently so also often spend times with colleagues this way. I have very close friends at my current role, but that is a reflection of my long-term tenure and the old days of lunch in the cafeteria and chats by the photocopier. I’m starting a senior manager level position next month at a new company and I’m looking for advice on how to develop relationships with coworkers. I will lead high profile cross-functional projects and will n…

Years ago, I used to do occasional round-ups of things I like, just for fun. I haven’t done one in years, so here’s a new one. 1. Alyssa Limperis’s mom videos. Hilarious. 2. Riki Lindhome’s take on So Long Farewell from the Sound of Music. Also hilarious. 3. Catalog Choice. They unsubscribe you from catalogs and I love them. 4. This chicken and her kittens. 5. The charity Undue Medical Debt, which buys and erases the medical debt of people who can’t afford to pay it. 6. This illustrator. 7. The Bloggess’s mortification series. 8. Alley Cat Allies, which is an excellent charity helping cats without homes. Feel free to share your own random sources of joy in the co…

A reader writes: I’m returning to the job-searching arena after several years and will be interviewing over the next few weeks. A few years ago, I was interviewed by a panel who were quite hostile and clearly not impressed with my resume or my responses. Up until that point, I’d never come across any interviewer who was aggressive, disrespectful, or rude, so the nastiness directed my way was unexpected: • belittling of my resume • verbal expressions of frustration at my lack of specific experience (and then giving me a nasty look) • patronizing remarks made about my responses to questions • aggressive facial expressions, no smiles, and no basic civilities (not even …

It’s four answers to four questions. Here we go… 1. Our exit interviews are emailed to all managers I work for a small company with a one-person HR team. When a team member leaves the company by choice, the HR person conducts an exit interview. The transcription of the interview is then emailed to the entire management layer of the company — about a third of the company headcount — without any edits or redactions. Details of personal circumstances, raw feedback about supervisors or coworkers, all of it just out there in the open with names attached. Many of us middle managers are horrified by this practice and object both on privacy grounds and because there is no clea…

It’s the Friday open thread! The comment section on this post is open for discussion with other readers on any work-related questions that you want to talk about (that includes school). If you want an answer from me, emailing me is still your best bet*, but this is a chance to take your questions to other readers. * If you submitted a question to me recently, please do not repost it here, as it may be in my queue to answer. The post open thread – May 8, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

This comment section is open for any non-work-related discussion you’d like to have with other readers, by popular demand. Here are the rules for the weekend posts. Book recommendation of the week: The Hazelbourne Ladies Motorcycle and Flying Club, by Helen Simonson. Kicked out of her job after the men returned from World War I, a penniless woman working as a lady’s companion encounters a women’s’ motorcycle club and a changing world. Very charming, as all of her books are. (Amazon, Bookshop) * I earn a commission if you use those links. The post weekend open thread – May 9-10, 2026 appeared first on Ask a Manager. View the full article

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. How to tell an employee to stop being bossy with coworkers I run a small, seasonal coffee shop with six employees. I generally have two to four return employees per season, which is a huge asset. An employee who has worked for me before has asked to come back, and while they are reliable, great with customers, and a very good barista, my other employees struggled with them being a bit overbearing and bossy, sometimes even giving incorrect feedback on procedures, and causing tension. They have a very bubbly and big personality and I don’t believe they realize how they come off. I plan to have a sit-down with them befor…

A reader writes: This is a completely low-stakes question, spurred on by the town Facebook group. Our province mandated that all job postings need to have a salary included. This is law. There have been two instances where two local restaurants have put out job postings without the salary. Someone pointed this out in the comments and it became a huge issue, where people fought back saying it was unreasonable for the owner who are small town business owners to know this (basic, now three-year-old law) bit. It eventually culminated in two different ways: a giant Reddit post where restaurant apologized and asked for resumes and still didn’t put in the salary in the post …

A reader writes: We recently hired a new employee, “Jane,” to replace someone who is away for a year. Two weeks after Jane started, she told us that she was pregnant and due about six months later. Our company owner, Ron, was very unhappy. He felt tricked, and annoyed that we then had to find a replacement for our replacement. For my part, it was a bit frustrating, but that’s life. I like her personally, and she’s a fast learner and a good employee. But ever since then, Ron has been very cold to Jane. He’s asked me to keep a record of every time she says she’s tired or takes time off for doctor appointments, and has asked me if she’s making up the hours. We had also tal…

A reader writes: I make a technically reasonable but low salary at my entry-level job, and while I’m not slacking, I’m also definitely not pushing as hard as I could. I do above my quota easily as it is, and I’m confident I could do more — even the work of two people — without overburdening myself. I like the work and I’m extremely good at it, but I’ve been feeling pressured to look for a new job because that salary just isn’t sustainable. Our team is short-staffed at the moment, like everyone else, and it takes some time for a new employee to get up to speed. If I could make, let’s say, half of another person’s salary on top of my current pay, I’d be making the amount …

It’s five answers to five questions. Here we go… 1. I was fired for charging customers’ cash purchases to my credit card Started my part-time summer job (I am retired) a few weeks ago, working at small convenience/snack/candy store near a local free tourist attraction that opened up for the season. Got fired yesterday. This year, the store went to a “no cash” payment system. Small sign on the door, another by the register. Problem is, not all people carry other forms of payment besides cash, mostly older folks, plus who wants to use their credit card for a 50 cent piece of candy? To help these customers out, especially ones who don’t have another form of payment availa…

A reader writes: I work for a large company and am my manager’s (“Sharon”) only direct report. Sharon is professional and high-performing the three days a week she is in the office. However, on her work-from-home days and even on her scheduled days off, her behavior becomes deceptive, erratic, and deeply disruptive. I choose to work in the office five days a week and arrive at 7 am — an hour before the rest of the team — which has made me the “face” of the team while Sharon has become a digital ghost. Some examples of her erratic behavior: • On a remote day, Sharon claimed she couldn’t work due to a failure in our software. Since our department manages that software, I…

A reader writes: I work in a healthcare-adjacent job with a pretty generous leave policy. When folks are going to take a sick day, it’s our practice to drop a note into Teams and say, “Not feeling well, taking a sick day, contact X about Y if it’s urgent, see you tomorrow I hope.” Sometimes folks will add a bit more info — saying they have a migraine or they caught the flu going around, etc. — but there’s nothing along the lines of needing to justify it to your manager or your team. If you’re sick, you’re sick and you take your leave. What I’m wondering about: quite often younger employees will specifically note that they are taking a mental health day when they call (o…

A reader writes: I just started working for an all-remote company who announced an in-person retreat not long after I was hired. (And after I specifically asked during the hiring process if any travel was required and was assured it was not, but anyway…) I am disabled (albeit not visibly), so travel is a struggle but usually doable, and the vibes I got from leadership were “you better have a really good reason for not attending.” I was still early in my probation period, wanted to make a good impression, so I sucked it up and agreed to attend. The retreat is coming up, and leadership has been infuriatingly coy about details, but the more they share, the more I realize t…